Let it go!

Romans 6:1-14 was the passage of scripture from the sermon yesterday and Christopher once again laid it out and God convicted me with a challenge to Let it go! I have a relationship with a family member that causes me to become angry and even jealous and I think that I have it under control and it rears its ugly head. Every year especially at Christmas I struggle with it.

First off, "I think that I have it under control" if I ever truly gave it to God it would no longer be in my control. Have I truly surrendered it to God? Good question!

Secondly, I have imagined what the relationship should look like in my mind and it will never reach that expectation. I have to give what I can to it and that is all, the rest is not up to me. I have to be okay with that and either continue to give and stop moaning or stop giving to it.

Last, Romans 6:11-14 says, "In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. For sin shall not be your mastr, because you are not under law, but under grace."

Praise God, it will take a conscience effort and a daily giving it to Him for me to even give the thought pattern of this situation to Him. I can spend a great deal of time in thought about this relationship and how to handle it. What a waste of precious time that God has given me. Through Christopher's sermon I felt challenged to stop when the thoughts begin and give it to God, read His word, talk to Him but do not let my mind go to this sinful way. With the Lord I can master this. He is my master not this sin. Thank you for delivering me!

Merry Christmas

It is Christmas today and I spent it with my family. Daryl and the girls and Mimi and Papa. We had our traditional Christmas eve gathering with Chili, oyster stew and all kinds of goodies. The girls opened their gifts and we visited for awhile. We came home and read the Christmas story. It was a really nice evening.

This morning Emily woke me before 7 am so I asked her if she would help me make breakfast. We made quiche, muffins, cinnamon rolls and juice. When everyone woke up we enjoyed breakfast and checking out everything under the tree and in our stockings. We played all day and watched some good holiday movies. I so enjoyed the past couple of days. I have a great family and God has blessed us in so many ways. Thank you God for all I have and all that you have done for me. May I be pleasing to you, Lord in the New Year. I give it to you.

If anyone checks this out, Merry Christmas. I pray that it wasn't just about gifts but remembering what God has done for each of us! He sent the perfect gift, Jesus!
Merry Christmas!

When I go to the defense of my children I struggle with whether it is the Christian response or if I should just bite my tongue. I said what I needed to say and walked away, there was nothing more to say and I had made it clear that there was no place for talk like that to happen to or about my child. It needs to stop.

So, thank you Lord that I was there for my child and that you gave me the words and kept me calm. I now pray Lord for peace for my daughter and this meaness and harrassment to be over. My child just wants to be a part of something that brings joy and satisfaction and that just seems to be taken from her. She quit some weeks ago over this same stuff and it continues. Help her be at peace and be able to look past all of this and enjoy the rest.

Thank you for hearing me Lord and knowing my heart. This is yours, take it and make it what you will only to glorify you.

I am thankful for the abc's

a-acceptance
b-believing in Christ
c-calls from friends
d-Daryl
e-Emily and Erin
f-family and friends
g-grace from God
h-home
i-intimacy
j-James, my brother
k-Kelsey and Kaitlin
l-love
m-me
n-nothing is impossible with God
o-Old Testament and New Testament
p-precipitation...I love rain, snow and hail...as long as I don't have to drive!
q-quiet morning with a cup of coffee and a word from the Lord
r-Rosa, my sister
s-sunsets and someone to share them with
t-treasures from times gone by...like my grandmother's oil lamp
u-umbrellas and making a tent or fort with a really big one
v-victory and the thrill of cheering someone on!
w-weddings that are built on a marriage that will be seeking God
x-xylophones and the other noises I hear all day from my children.
y-Yahweh and anyone willing to stand firm in Him
z-zoo (ask Daryl about our trip)

God's got it!

Colossians 1:17 says that God is before all things and in Him all things hold together.

Wow, there are times that I feel like everything is just falling apart around me and I can't keep it together! Well duh! I can't keep it together and the harder I try the more I am in control and not God. I have to remind myself that God's got it and he can handle it. I need to do my part each day by loving him, loving myself and loving those that he puts in my life.

Lord, Thank you for seeing Jenny through the surgery and that she is making encouraging progress. I know that she still has a long haul and that it might not turn out like any of us have planned in our minds but you are in control.

Daryl and Mimi are at the kidney specialist as I type this and we will hopefully know more of what she is up against by the end of the day.

There is not much more to do or say than Praise God through the good and the bad. I am alive today and it is because of Him! So until I am no more may the Lord be glorified through me.

Okay Lord, I am coming to you weak in spirit. My heart is heavy with burden for my family. Daryl's sisters daughter(Daryl's niece), Jennifer who is just 18 has been hospitalized with a brain tumor. It is close to her optical nerve and is slow growing. It sounds like they believe it is cancerous. They are doing surgery on Monday and then after some recovery there is talk of starting chemotherapy. Lord, I am coming to you with a great request that you will be with her Lord, right now. Whatever happens, I will glorify you and I pray for the opportunity to minister love, peace and your grace to her over the next few days. She is so young and my heart is so heavy for her and her mother, Kim.

Lord, I also have Daryl's mom deep in my soul. I love her deerly. She has been a mother to me from my teenage years and to see her struggling so with her health is wrenching me inside. Each doctor visit adds more things to the list of ailments and she is getting discouraged. The kidney specialist appointment is Thursday Lord and I pray for just one word of good news for her that she might feel some encouragement. Lord help me to have strength in you to serve Daryl's parents over the weeks, months and possibly years(hopefully) to come. Use me Lord however I am able, help me to seek you in my choices and commitments so that all and only that I do will glorify you.

Lord, I then think of my brother James. He has had such problems with depression and now the mother of his children whom he has had a strained relationship with is in the hospital with heart problems. Lord, I have been unable to speak with James and I just pray that right now he would know that I love him and am praying for him and his family. Lord be with James and his children during this difficult time. I also pray strength for Rosa as she helps to nurture his family. Bless her and her hands for all that she has done for them.

I am broken right now Lord and crying in anguish for the pain that these family members are feeling and I long to take that pain from them. Lord I know that you are able to work in and through all matters and I pray that right now. I pray that you will receive glory and honor in some way through these situations. Praise you Lord for who you are and that you are the lifter of my head. It may hang in this moment but you will raise me up. Amen.

Just a few thoughts about my day...I was able to buy some pants and jeans from a second hand store today. I spent a little over $20.00 and got five pairs for me, two pairs of jeans and a shirt for one daughter, a dress, skirt outfit and skirt for another daughter and a dress for the youngest. Wow, is it satisfying to find so much for so little! The girls were so excited, we had to hurry home and wash the finds. Thank you Lord for even these small things that bring so much pleasure and for the chance that I have each day to share with my daughters. I may not be rich in the worlds eyes but You have given me everything I need and desire.

I don't know if anyone will ever even know that I am doing this blog so it might just be a daily journal of sorts for myself. I will share devotions that touch me, words from a sermon, my own ramblings and possibly even a complaint or two on my not so good days.

Today has turned out pretty good so far. I do have one complaint, sometimes I feel like a maid. I just get tired of cleaning up after everyone else. So, my girls are folding like 5 loads of laundry as I sit here having a moment to myself. I need to quit doing it all and start having everyone else contribute to running of this household. For the most part they help but it would be nice if it was just something everyone did, not waiting for my instruction. I'll keep working on it and maybe it will happen. I will let you know if I come up with anything that works.

One day at a time

The devotion below came from Experiencing God Today a Lifeway.com resource. I am having to remind myself alot lately to just take it one day at a time. There is so much going on in life that it is easy to get bogged down. God has done amazing things in my life in the past and I forget that each day is another amazing thing that God is doing. Lord, help me to remember to let you work even in the littlest of things each day.

Scripture:So then, my dear friends, just as you have always obeyed, not only in my presence, but now even more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. For it is God who is working in you, enabling you both to will and to act for His good purpose. (Phil. 2:12-13, Holman CSB)

Thought:Agree that: God is absolutely trustworthy; you will follow Him one day at a time, even when He does not spell out all the details; that you will let Him be your Way. If you cannot agree to these right now, openly confess your struggles to Him. Claim the promise that He will work in you to do His will.

Prayer:Master of eternity, You have used the past to shape me for the present. But You have created me to live life eternal now. I press toward the future in the hope of Christ. Amen.

How is it that someone you don't even know can speak directly to you with a message that is exactly what you needed to hear? There is only one answer- the Almighty God!

Our guest pastor on Sunday spoke from 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 "To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

The speaker reminded me that as a believer and follower of Christ life will not always be perfect, neat or even close to tidy and that is okay and expected. It is okay to not have all of the answers as long as I remember that God will keep me. Humility is recognizing and embracing our limitations. Realizing that I can't do this myself. God is sufficient and dependable, not always the way we think things should happen but still holding to his promises. The thorns that come are real to us and ever persistent just as we also should be.

My final thought is Hebrews 12:1-2 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes of Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."